If anyone has problems dealing with stress, it’s me.
But I can’t help but think of the way stress in a family, can be a good thing.
My heart goes out to those who have family problems that constantly bring them heartache and heartbreak. That stress is one that no longer means stress, that’s become chronic pain and my heart goes out to you.
Family stress is an interesting thing. We don’t like it and it’s uncomfortable, but this week’s lessons made me realize the value that they CAN bring to a family.
I like to think of conflict like a rubber band: it can stretch and pull people apart, but if you allow it to, the rubber band can bring you closer and tighter together. I think stress can function in the same way in a family.
I think of one of the biggest stresses I faced while I was growing up. It’s something that to this day I’m grateful for, even though it caused me the most stress and heartache. It’s brought be closer to my parents and it’s brought me closer to feel of God’s love and involvement in my life.
Here’s the story:
It was the summer before my freshman year of high school and I was going to Mexico for the first time in my life! It would be me, my youngest sister and my mom. My dad was staying home for work and health reasons. My mom hadn’t been to her native country for over 15 years and she was ecstatic to visit home and family.
The two-week vacation was so fun. I had the best tortillas of my life. The best guacamole of my life and the best home-made meals I’d ever eaten. Family I hadn’t ever met were warm and welcoming. I experienced a tropical rainstorm and picked mangos and guavas off trees. It was wonderful.
As the trip came to an end, we packed our things and bid farewell to our family. We flew out out Mazatlan and had our immigration checkpoint and Phoenix where we would then fly home to Reno.
However, things didn’t pan out exactly like that.
We left Mazatlan and landed in Arizona. I remember feeling tired and hungry. I had Raquel, my youngest sister at my hips and I was following my mom. Being that Raquel and were born in the States, we were briefly separated from my mom would be going through a different line as she isn’t a U.S native. Raquel and I went through the line, made it to the end, and waited for my mom.
There was a hold-up. I could see she was asked to move out of line and go to a small office on the side of the immigration check-point. I could see her speaking to a man at a desk and I could see her beginning to panic. She turns around, speaks to a woman and begins looking out the office glass windows. I can tell she’s looking for us.
Unaware of what’s happening, but knowing something was wrong, I grab Raquel’s hand and we begin walking to the office. As we begin walking, the woman officer who my mom spoke to appears and tell us my mom is “in a bad situation.”
I walk through the office doors and my mom quickly hugs me and Raquel. I could tell she was crying but I don’t know why yet.
We’re quickly moved into a private office where my mom is asked questions.
“Do you know you are considered an illegal alien by entering this country without adequate documentation?” the office on the computer asked.
“I didn’t know! I didn’t think it would be a problem!” responded my mom.
“This Visa hasn’t been fully processed and therefore, you have to be deported,” the officer said.
Raquel and I would fly back home alone. My mom would eventually return home 10 months later.
I remember how much I cried when I said bye to my mom. She apologized for what was happening and she assured she would be home soon. “There’s a misunderstanding. It’ll get worked out soon. I promise.” She said.
Although she was right, there was a misunderstanding with her Visa, my mom did return home.
While the issues got worked out, she was with family and she did lots of family history. She discovered family names that were long forgotten.
Back home, I developed a closer relationship with my dad. Being that he’s handicapped, he realized there were many things that he was able to do that he didn’t think he could do. He gained a purpose for his life while my mom was away.
Although thinking back to the details of the story sometimes still makes me cry, I can’t help but be grateful for God’s hand in our lives. We learned to love each other better. We learned to appreciate each other. The stress and strains brought us closer together and strengthened our love for one another.
Although life with Jacob is pretty much perfect right now, I trust that the hard times and our stresses will be consecrated for our gain. If we allow them to be.
Comments