Nothing can truly prepare you for being married. But, you can practice being married.
As I think back on my “married prepping years,” I realize it’s really been my teen years and young adult years that have contributed to the character development of my married self. However, it’s been since birth that marriage and family are essential to happiness and life fulfillment.
Perhaps it was unconscious, but we’ve been prepping for marriage our whole life.
I remember caring for my Bratz dolls as if they were my children. I remember when I got the boy doll, Cameron, everything changed.
Sasha and Cameron could finally be together. They would finally be family and they would finally be able to kiss and hold hands. I remember Sasha and Cameron having a pretend fight one afternoon. Sasha began crying because Cameron didn’t want to take her shopping. While I was playing, I remember my mom stepping over me as I lay in the middle of the hallway, and she said. “Remember that moms and dads are nice to each other and don’t intentionally make the other cry…”
I realized that Cameron needed to apologize and Sasha needed to be nicer about asking to go shopping.
Although this sounds crazy, I remember thinking that even during my pretend plays, the moms and dads needed to behave like good parents.
My parent’s marriage hasn’t been perfect. Their examples haven’t even been perfect. But, however, they have taught me the importance of marriage in a way that I’ve always understood. Moms and dads love each other and don’t intentionally hurt the other’s feelings.
What does this have to do with marriage prep? Well, it reminds me of the example that I must set for my future children. I want them to know from the beginning, that marriage is an effort. It’s something that is worked on and is founded on effort, sacrifice, respect and love. Even when they’re playing with dolls and with friends, I want them to begin practicing what a real marriage is about.
I’m grateful that my mom would find opportunities to explain to me the importance of marriage and family. I’m grateful that she sought opportunities to interject truth as she subtly taught me how I could prepare for marriage.
As I was preparing for marriage, I thought back to my dating teen years and the most important lessons. I thought back to the relationships I made with friends who were boys. I thought back to what my dad taught me about being respected and being touched appropriately.
As I think back, it’s amazing to think that all of those lessons, beginning in elementary and leading up to young adult years, have all been preparatory to being married.
Marriage is about becoming best friends with someone who is your complete gender opposite. Like in elementary school. It’s about teasing and flirting. Like in middle school. It’s about being respectful and learning boundaries. Like in high school.
I’m grateful for parents who taught me good principles and practices of marriage from a young age. I plan to do the same for my family.
Comments