When someone is “born” a certain way, it implies there is no choice. Like my skin color, my poor eyesight and my height. I was born that way and even if I wanted to. I couldn’t do anything about it to change it.
This character trait that we are born with gives us a sense of identity. It does to me! I’m tan because I’m Mexican. I’m born of Mexican parents and who I am is evident in how I look. I identity this way.
Perhaps the reason why this information is offensive and infuriating to some might be because they don’t want to feel like their identity, something they’ve struggled to accept, is “wrong,” or had some sort of error. This information is implying that something bad happened to them that resulted in this change.
Although infuriating to some, it’s important to know of the studies regarding homosexuality and choice.
But, before I start diving into that, Brandon Ambrosino from The New Republic magazine said it best, “It’s time for the LGBT community to stop fearing the word “choice,” and to reclaim the dignity of sexual autonomy.”
Dr. Joseph Nicolosi, an internationally renowned clinical psychologist states, “There is no conclusive evidence that it’s biologically or genetically predetermined [homosexuality]. In fact, there is much more evidence for early childhood factors--especially the relationship with the parents as determining the sexual orientation.”
Childhood factors have the highest evidence in determining sexual orientation.
The potential contributing factor to sexual orientation are:
-Wounded gender identity
-Bullying
-Father hunger
-Mother confusion
-Inappropriate touch
-Pornography
Perhaps the reason why this information is offensive and infuriating to some, might be because they don’t want to feel like their identity, something they’ve struggled to accept, is “wrong,” or had some sort of error. This information is implying that something bad happened to them that resulted in this change.
But that’s a misconception. We, the community who believe that sexuality is a choice, aren’t implying that they’re “wrong,” were’ simply stating that there is a choice and explanation to the events of their life. Rather than imply we change their identity, we set them free with the knowledge that there is a reason behind it--they weren’t born to be confused or homosexual.
Dr. Nicholas A. Cummings, Ph.D., Past President of the American Psychological Association said something so powerful: “Now, I believe in civil rights. I was very active in helping gays be accepted in the APA. To this day I am NOT opposed to gay marriage but nonetheless, my position is that the person is the one who decides what they want to do with their orientation and if someone deices to be gay, I respect that. But I also respect the right to disagree.”
I know this topic is heavy. I know that the LGBTQ+ community wants nothing more than to be accepted and understood. Although contrary to what they may think, we ARE understanding them. We’ve researched, survey and dedicated to understanding them. We understand the emotional and contributory factors that helped create their identity.
Perhaps the understanding and acceptance they seek isn’t acceptance or understanding at all, perhaps it’s ignorance. Perhaps what they want more than understanding, is for the general public to ignore the pain and mental suffering they are going through, and the data that demonstrates that gay men use substances at a higher rate than the general population, have anxiety and depression at a higher rate and suffer for STDS at a higher rate the general public.
Although we could simply accept this as your happiness, our human nature can’t help but research the underlying issues to the general unhappiness this group of people suffer.
So what does this have to do with my family and my future family?
Well, pretty much everything.
I consider the important role that father and mother have in the home and the relationship that is created with the children. I think of the importance of child safety and respect to their bodies.
I’m grateful for what I’ve learned and for what I know. I’m grateful to know that I can know the truth of sexual orientation before I begin having children.
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