Jacob and I began our relationship through group and friend activities. We met because of youth groups and group gatherings. Basically, through casual means of being just friends was the way our relationship was founded.
I am grateful that to this day, we know how to act in a group of friends. It’s how we met and it’s how we learned to like each other. We know how to behave in a group so that others don’t feel uncomfortable with our relationship. We know how to behave so that everyone feels included and incorporated in the group.
It’s how we met. It’s how we fell in love. It’s how we begin our relationship.
While living with roommates during my single days, I remember encouraging Jacob to get to know the girls in my apartment. I wanted him to feel comfortable around them and I wanted them to feel comfortable around him. I wanted our apartment family to feel included and to feel comfortable with the boy I was dating. I trusted Jacob around my roommates and I wanted them to consider him a friend not just because of or through me.
Although our intentions were good in building relationships and being friends with others, as a married woman now, I realize the dangers that could come from this. It’s not that there are trust issues, it’s simply about respect, protection and prevention.
I sometimes struggle with the idea that he shouldn’t be alone or talking to anyone of the opposite sex. I struggle with the idea of that for myself as well. It’s not that I want to be alone with others or because I’m interested in others. I’m not.
I struggle with the idea that we shouldn’t, simply because it looks wrong or it’s not be trusted. I do trust my husband 100% and I feel it an even stronger indication of our trust if we happen to be alone with someone of the opposite sex briefly.
Now, don’t peg me as naive and ignorant. I know the difference between seeking out to be alone with someone and the casual conversation my husband has with a neighbor outside or with someone at church. I understand the importance of the potential risks and dangers of too frequent “friendly” relationships with the opposite sex.
I struggle with the idea that my husband should NEVER be alone with another woman. Perhaps I say this because I know he has and it hasn’t bothered me.
A few months ago, my husband came home a little later than usual. I didn’t think it strange since he comes home later than usual almost once a week. As he came home, he greeted me and explained why he was late. He described what happened.
He was locking up and closing up the clinic for the day when he noticed one of the staff nurses waiting in the lobby. When he approached her, she said her husband wasn’t answering her calls but she assumed he would be by to pick her up shortly. She said to my husband, “Even though he’s not answering, he’ll have to notice that I’m not home yet and it’s because he needed the car today. He’ll realize sooner or later.” Jacob, my husband, said he would close up the other parts of the clinic and would be finished in 10 minutes. She assured him she would be gone by then. She wasn’t and it started to rain.
Mindful of the situation, my husband offered the nurse a ride home. Hesitant but grateful, she accepted.
I’m grateful that my husband was courteous and willing to serve even though “it looked” wrong. She young nurse was wise enough to take the ride even though it may have “looked” wrong.
Even though we should always be cautious and mindful of the circumstances by which we interact with members of the opposite sex, I believe this shouldn’t limit our duty to serve and do kind acts that comprise being good Christians.
Just a thought.
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